My audition process did not go to plan. LCDS had always been my dream, it was the place I knew I wanted to be, it was the place (no pun intended) where I thought I had a right to be, that I deserved to be. And quite frankly when I got rejected I was angry and upset, I can recall sitting on my stairs (I was home alone which only exacerbated the moment) and cried for a good two hours straight. I was devastated.
I couldn’t imagine going anywhere else, I didn’t want to go anywhere else. Then I found out that I’d only got on the reserve list for Laban. I couldn’t understand it- I’d worked so hard every single class, every single day at both my private dance school and CAT. Not wanting to sound anyway egotistical, but I was towards the top end in terms of technique and creativity in all my classes. Why was I not getting in anywhere? To make matters worse, other people I knew went on to get into schools with relative ease- why was I getting these rejections- what did I do wrong?
I feel that this post has become an avenue to vent all of the pent up emotions that I have had about auditions. Yet, it is also important that I recognised early on that things don’t always go to plan. My mum and I are big believers in fate- Northern is the place I am meant to be. It was the audition I enjoyed the most, in terms of living arrangements they are much more economical for my savings account and the course on reflection is much more attractive. Although I didn’t see it to begin with, Northern is the place that can turn me into the best dancer I can be, and although I’ll probably never know what it’s like to study at Laban or The Place, I can suggest that I probably won’t do so well at either school as I will at Northern, although this is all conjecture.
In one audition, I was told that there could be several reasons why you might not get into a school. Technique isn’t good enough, someone is better than you, you’re not ready, it’s not the right course for you, or maybe the school was just plain wrong. Indeed, I would like to think that every school that turned me down was just plain wrong about me (a girl can dream right?), but I think my struggle to just get into dance school has made me more hungry for a dance career, I have tasted failure and rejection and I haven’t allowed it to knock me down. In comparison to people who have somewhat coasted through life so far, I think I am better prepared for the world of dance, where it certainly isn’t a walk in the park. So my advice is, never give up, believe that everything happens for a reason, and if at first you don’t succeed try and try again- you’ll get there.
And hopefully one day, when I am a successful professional dancer the schools that turned me down will be wishing they didn’t.
(Just a side note– this is not intended to criticise or demean anyone’s experiences or achievements, it is rather a self evaluation of my own audition process which I have decided to share for other’s benefits. I have not named names in the post, quite simply because I am not thinking about anyone in particular. Please do not take offence to anything I have said.)