You don’t always get what you wish for

My audition process did not go to plan. LCDS had always been my dream, it was the place I knew I wanted to be, it was the place (no pun intended) where I thought I had a right to be, that I deserved to be. And quite frankly when I got rejected I was angry and upset, I can recall sitting on my stairs (I was home alone which only exacerbated the moment) and cried for a good two hours straight. I was devastated.

I couldn’t imagine going anywhere else, I didn’t want to go anywhere else. Then I found out that I’d only got on the reserve list for Laban. I couldn’t understand it- I’d worked so hard every single class, every single day at both my private dance school and CAT. Not wanting to sound anyway egotistical, but I was towards the top end in terms of technique and creativity in all my classes. Why was I not getting in anywhere? To make matters worse, other people I knew went on to get into schools with relative ease- why was I getting these rejections- what did I do wrong?

I feel that this post has become an avenue to vent all of the pent up emotions that I have had about auditions. Yet, it is also important that I recognised early on that things don’t always go to plan. My mum and I are big believers in fate- Northern is the place I am meant to be. It was the audition I enjoyed the most, in terms of living arrangements they are much more economical for my savings account and the course on reflection is much more attractive. Although I didn’t see it to begin with, Northern is the place that can turn me into the best dancer I can be, and although I’ll probably never know what it’s like to study at Laban or The Place, I can suggest  that I probably won’t do so well at either school as I will at Northern, although this is all conjecture.

In one audition, I was told that there could be several reasons why you might not get into a school. Technique isn’t good enough, someone is better than you, you’re not ready, it’s not the right course for you, or maybe the school was just plain wrong. Indeed, I would like to think that every school that turned me down was just plain wrong about me (a girl can dream right?), but I think my struggle to just get into dance school has made me more hungry for a dance career, I have tasted failure and rejection and I haven’t allowed it to knock me down. In comparison to people who have somewhat coasted through life so far, I think I am better prepared for the world of dance, where it certainly isn’t a walk in the park. So my advice is, never give up, believe that everything happens for a reason, and if at first you don’t succeed try and try again- you’ll get there.

And hopefully one day, when I am a successful professional dancer the schools that turned me down will be wishing they didn’t.

(Just a side note– this is not intended to criticise or demean anyone’s experiences or achievements, it is rather a self evaluation of my own audition process which I have decided to share for other’s benefits. I have not named names in the post, quite simply because I am not thinking about anyone in particular. Please do not take offence to anything I have said.)

3 Replies to “You don’t always get what you wish for”

  1. Love this as I am in the exact same position. I wanted to go to Laban and didn’t get in to either Laban or LSCD but did get into Northern 🙂 It’s the place to be and I am sure we will have an amazing time.

  2. I’ve just read it… you know what? I did an audition for codArts in Rotterdam and I was in the reserved list as well as for The place. It really disappointed me because I had a scholarship to join the CAT summer intensive at The place 3 years ago and at that time they said me I could do the audition to get into the degree course. by the end I didn’t cause I had to finish the school in Italy. moreover 2 friend from my dance school in Italy did the degree course at LCDS. it was qite frustrating to think I wasn’t enough.. then I spoke with one of my friend graduated from LCDS and she said to me… “sometimes they know there are better places for you somewhere else and they give you the opportunity to get into the school that can turn you in the best dancer you can be. Now we are approaching to begin our “first last term” (can I say that? does it make any sense? I hope so…) and I’ll never know how it would be to study at LCDS but… you know what? I might think my friend was right.

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