Take a break?

I moved away from home seven months ago and I’ve already started forgetting things. A shaky first five minutes driving after six months of non-driving was what first made me notice that my memory isn’t quite as sharp as I thought it was. I went back to school the other day to collect my A Level certificates, and whilst the setting was a place I’d grown sick of over the past seven years, it had become a blur of familiar faces I couldn’t name properly, and rooms that I was unadjusted to. Time is unforgiving, and it is mirrored by the fact that I am already two third’s of the way through my first year. One term left, but I feel like I’ve only been in Leeds for three weeks.

Being unable to click straight back into where I left off is very disorientating. People pop up on my Facebook newsfeed and I, for a moment, question who they are- do I actually know them? And then I realise that I went to school with them for ten years or so and I feel ashamed for having forgotten. Time goes by so quickly that we get swept up by it. Even now as I sit here to type this my first week of the Easter break is rapidly drawing to a close and I have done little except roll around in bed and watch films. I guess this post is a little random, I can’t myself work out why I came to write it. I feel like I have precious little time before I finish my degree and am unleashed into the world of freelancing. I feel scared that I am not making enough of my time: I could be stretching, working on my press ups or actually creating work. I should be doing something rather than just sitting on my bum doing sweet f.a. At the same time, I am very conscious about burning out. Throw back to GCSE’s where I spent several days of unexplained illness in bed, unable to do anything. Something I am keen not to repeat.

So this is my question, how do you approach holidays? Are they a time for recuperation, chillaxing and catching up with friends? Or alternatively an opportunity for extra curricular activities, workshops, meeting people and doing exciting career building things? Is it a holiday, in the traditional sense where you take a break from the everyday? A break from term time? From training Monday to Friday, assessments and trying to cultivate your artistic identity. I invite answers to my questions, as I am trying to figure this conundrum out- I want to relax and do nothing, but I know time is running out and I will regret it come the start of Summer term. Is a holiday really a holiday?


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