help! my bad knee is dominating my life

There’s nothing more frustrating than a recurring injury. You think you’ve kicked it in the butt and moved on, but it just keeps running back to you.

Jumping out again and shouting “Hey, I’m back! Ready for pain? Ready to be unable to plie or jump properly? Ready to spend endless amounts of time wondering what is actually wrong with you and why it isn’t getting better…”

I definitely thought I’d sorted my dodgy right knee during rehearsal period. Wanged ice on it every night, got my IT band thoroughly massaged and holding back in class seemed to sort it out. But it was kind of like a problem that if you ignore it just keeps coming back. Like ignoring a little hole in your pocket, forgetting about it, and then one day it’s so so so much worse and you wish you’d just sewn it up in the first place.

That’s how I feel about my knee. I wish I’d tried to fix it properly rather than employing the tactic of fifty percent temporary pain relief and fifty percent just waiting for it to go away. This will always be the wrong decision, because it will come back and dominate your life.

On a more positive note, I am glad that it has happened now. In second year, where I can get someone to look at it for free or for a very small fee, I’m not competing for jobs, and if it turns out to be a chronic injury then I should know how to deal with it in the future. Add to the fact that I am learning how my body feels and what it likes and doesn’t like.

Warming up in the morning I know that I need to make sure that I do my quad exercises and also that I stretch out my hips, because otherwise my knee will cause me problems. I know that I have slight swaybacks, and if I push back into them my knee with also start to hurt. I’ve attuned to what helps to constitute a good knee day and what doesn’t.

It’s annoying that I judge how my day has gone on how my knee feels. Knee feels shit= me feeling shit at the end of the day. But, despite all of this I’m actually getting somewhere and it’s wonderful! I can get through a full day of classes without a knee support now, but this doesn’t mean I can just assume that my knee is sorted. It’s not. Injuries don’t have quick fixes, you constantly feel like you’re behind everyone else and at times it’s all consuming. But, it’s also a learning curve and if this doesn’t make you injured souls feel better there’s also chocolate, so yano….

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