We’ve been launched into the second term of third year, and thus comes the burden of the independent research project.
I’ve made it sound awful, but in reality it’s amazing. I’ve got to the point in my degree where I feel like I’m getting ready to leave. To fly the proverbial nest and to launch myself into the world. Hence, the fact that I get to research and explore something that I’m genuinely interested in and want to look into further after graduating means that I’m feeling motivated, happy and buried in books.
I’m also buzzing with ideas. Naturally what I want to do after I’m evicted from Northern changes daily, sometimes hourly. It feels like you’re on a roundabout and you don’t know which exit to take. Actually it’s exactly like that, because you don’t know where each exit is going to lead. It could be the motorway to a performance career, a byway to creating, or even a muddy track back to Suffolk living with my parents. I have no idea.
However, for the first time in my life I have no route mapped out. The knowledge that anything (and it probably will be anything) can happen is exhilarating. From primary school, to high school, to sixth form to conservatoire, I’ve spent a grand total seventeen years learning. Now I want to apply that knowledge.
This is not to say that once I graduate I will know everything. Because I really won’t. I fully enter into the belief that I will be consistently learning and evolving. Finding out ways to handle rejection, combating infrequent daily class and working out how to pay my rent is all part of the process, and I can’t say enough how much I want that. How excited I am to explore real life for myself- to be a fully fledged adult.
People keep asking me what I’m going to do after I graduate and I don’t know. Does anyone ever know? I chose to do a degree in dance, because I loved it, I couldn’t imagine doing a degree in anything else and because I knew I’d regret it in later life if I didn’t try to pursue it. These three years are nearly over, and as for the next period of my life who knows? But for now let me do my independent project and we’ll take it from there.